Happy Birthday to the real 🐐.

Griffey. Bonds. MJ. LeBron. Brady. Manning. Messi. Ronaldo.

These men cower in fear when this guy walks in the room. They know he has a set of nuts so large he wears his hat backwards to balance his center of gravity.

Cancel work. Close the banks. Don’t let anybody leave the house unless it’s for their local sandlot.

It’s Pablo Sanchez’s fucking birthday.

The things this kid was able to do on a baseball field, basketball court, football field, and soccer field are what the “GOAT” athletes mentioned above wish they could do.

Pablo could’ve went pro in anything he wanted, and in baseball specifically, this man would’ve absolutely throttled the home run record, easily hit over .400 every season, and probably would’ve thrown 7,000 strikeouts in his career.

Dude would clear the pool in left field at Steele Stadium, hit towering shots over literal towers in Tin Can Alley, and hit balls into the alley in Cement Gardens that never came back.

And I mean seriously. “SECRET WEAPON”?? What a freaking nickname for a quadruple-sport (and probably more) athlete. Aside from Agent Zero Gilbert Arenas who had his own “secret weapon” (see what I did there), nobody has a cooler nickname that has a reference of weapons.

MLB NEEDS to recognize this guy. Put him on Jumbotrons all over the league on August 18th. Or better yet, throw a Pablo “PS” patch on everyone’s chest. Or a 🐐 symbol. Or maybe even throw a patch with his signature belly hanging out of his shirt/pants.

Think about the marketing possibilities. You wanna find ways to market your best players? Start here MLB.

Manfred should already be tried for TREASON for not having him in the hall already. Disgusting.

Whatever they eventually decide to do, game recognize game. And MLB, you need to recognize who the real GOAT is and take advantage of the opportunity. Your move.

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